“Oh, don’t worry.” the first one said. They looked to be brothers, both of them in their mid-thirties, with reddish hair and green eyes and the same shaped nose and cheeks. “We got lots of stuff we done that you can write about. And it’s all true, too.”

“Most of it, anyways.” the other said with a grin. “But we read a bit of that Sidewinder Jack book of yours, and you don’t seem to need a whole of truth in your dime novels, anyhow.”

“I’m not the one....”

“Now, don’t get huffy.” the first one said. “Maybe you done heard of us. He indicated first himself, then his brother, “Jeff and John Stebbins. We robbed that bank over by Calvin’s Gulch last month.”

“And before that, we was the ones who got that silver shipment over by Jefferstown.” John put in.

“You should have seen the posse they put on our trail that time.” Jeff said with a wide smile. “But we outdone him. You got yourself half the novel right there.”

“But I really don’t think....”

“Don’t think what?” John said with a mean glint in his eye. “You think we ain’t good enough for one of them yellow books of yours?”

“It’s not that at all.” I said.

“He wants to know about more than us robbing banks and stuff.” Jeff said. “Got to be a rough-riding hero, too.”

“Jeff and I both can rope and ride and shoot and dance with the best of them.” John said.

“We’ll tell you all about that stuff, too.”

I gave up trying to talk to these guys. Better to play along with them. “What else have you got that we could put in our novel about you, if we was to write one about you?” I queried.

“What else do you need?” Jeff asked.

“Well.” I said, looking at these two men. “A hero in our novels has to be both a lover and a fighter.” I looked at both of them in turn. “You both seem powerful capable as fighters.” I said. “But how are you in the other department?”

“We ain’t had no complaints about the women we been with.” Jeff said cautiously. I noticed John also acting abashed and I grinned.

“So you two ain’t never been with a woman, have you?”

“Hell, you grow up out on the range and see what you got to work with!” John exploded. “We got the branding irons all right, but ain’t got no heifers to brand them with.”

“It sure is a pitiful thing, how few women there are abouts.” Jeff condoled with his brother. “You and me been working up our bindles to go try a spell East and see if we can get to some of them ladies.”

“Well.” I said with some relief, “If you two are a couple of nothings in the love rodeo, then I don’t see how Derringer Press is going to want to talk with you no matter if you were to lasso a twister and ride it like Pecos Bill, so if you don’t mind, I need to....”

John drew his pistol with an ominous gesture. “You don’t need to kill a man to know how to do it.” he said. “The same goes with the pushing in bed.”

“You got that right.” Jeff agreed.

I looked down the barrel of John’s gun and I gulped, licked my lips “Now, hold on now, fellers.” I said. “I wasn’t trying to do nothing but learn your qualifications.” I licked my lips again.

“That pretty little pink tongue of his looks just like the tits on that woman they got painted on the wall over at the saloon.” Jeff said.

“Always wondered what that would feel like if I was to rub it.” John agreed. “Sitting there with a beer in hand, looking at that naked lady, with those big round tits.”

I licked my lips again, this time my mouth open and my tongue running all the way around and Jeff saw that and sort of groaned. “Damned but them rosy lips of his look like they’re good for something other than just talking.”

“Jest like that lady’s lips, ain’t they?” John observed.

“Wonder how they’d feel if I was to kiss them?” Jeff said.

“I wasn’t trying to do nothing but...”

John’s gun safety clicked off and the hammer raised back and I quit arguing. That was the first thing you learned in the West, was to shut your pie-hole and wait until they got bored with you and went somewhere else.

“My brother said he’d like to kiss you.” John said. “I think you ought to let him, don’t you?”