Some Die Hard

By Tommyhawk1@AOL.COM
WWW.TOMMYHAWKSFANTASYWORLD.COM
Artwork (c) 2006 by Eduardo

[CAUTION: While I tried hard to make this story light-hearted and not twisted, some readers may find the underlying concept a bit sick. Please, if the idea bothers you, skip over this one.]

Fenton, the mortician, observed the form lying on the table, and said, "Well, fellow, looks like you got interrupted at the worst possible moment." He was referring to the corpse's rampant priapism. "Don't you worry about it, when we finish the exsanguination process, you won't be having that little problem anymore." He had spent the last several minutes flexing the arms and legs to relieve rigor mortis, and now the body was nice and loose. That usually relieved a post-mortem priapism, but not this time. Oh, well, the blood draining should take care of that, which was the next step.

"A shame." he went on as he prepared the tube to be injected into the body. First a de-clotting agent to make the blood fluid again, so it would drain more easily. "A big one like that deserves to be deflated the old-fashioned way. As it is, it's the worst sort of coitus interruptus I'll be inflicting on you. I wonder, you know, were you in the act, or just having a really nice daydream."

He hummed as he moved closer to the body to stick the blood tube into the right jugular vein, and then to put the embalming fluid into the right carotid artery. He was about to inject the first tube when he heard, "What the hell do you think you're doing?"

Fenton jerked back. What had spoken was the corpse!" The eyecaps had come off while Fenton had been distracted with the tubes, he was being looked at with eyes both dead and...confrontational!

"You...you're dead!" he exploded. Christ, this was Halloween afternoon, somebody had played a very elaborate game with him...but those autopsy incisions were authentic enough. This body was...real! Real dead! And talking!

"Oh, you noticed that." the dead man said. "I was wondering about that. The way you were rubbing me all over...."

"That's...that's part of the preparation process." Fenton stuttered.

"What did you mean about the exsanguination process?" the corpse wanted to know. Other than the Y-shaped stitches across his body cavity (from the autopsy), he was clean, his body shaved, washed, neat, ready for the great beyond.

"It's...it's the next step in the embalming process." Fenton stammered, his composure returning as he spoke of his craft. "I have to drain your body of blood so I can fill you with embalming fluid to preserve you."

"And what do you do with my blood?" the man wanted to know. "Pour it down the drain or take it home and drink it?"

"It goes into these jars which are placed in the foot of the coffin with you." Fenton said. "It's illegal for a mortician to do anything with any part of your body besides place it in the coffin if we can't replace it into your body...some way or other." Some bodies had been so messed up, bloated/decomposing, that he'd had to take a few liberties along those lines. He usually pressed for a cremation in such cases, but there'd been the old man who'd died in his apartment a week before he'd been found and his family had refused...that one still gave him nightmares; if he concentrated, he could still smell it here in this room, for the old man's body had been on this very same table.

"Well..." the dead man considered this, smiled. "I guess that's all right then. But what's this about me not having my boner after that?"

"No blood, no hard-on." Fenton said. "I mean, I have to drain you and you're bound to lose that little, uh, bonus from your former life."

"There's just one little problem with that." the corpse pointed out.

"And what is that?"

"I don't plan to let you do it."

"Oh." Fenton considered this unusual situation. "You know, you're being unreasonable here. If I don't get you properly embalmed, you're going to start decaying and believe me, that's not a pretty sight."

"But I wouldn't lose my woody?"

"Uh...I guess not." Fenton admitted. Blood doesn't move when you're dead, so a blood-filled penis will stay...blood filled.

"Then I don't want you to do it." the man said definitively.

"But...but you're not scheduled to be buried until next Thursday." Fenton argued. "The ceremony is to be open-casket. We'll have to seal the casket. And really, what use is an erection to a dead man? What are you going to use it on? Who? Unless I embalm you, the last person who's going to see you at all will be me."

"Really?" the man said. That seemed to disconcert him. "Just you and then the box, huh?"

"That's what happens when you're dead." Fenton affirmed. "Can't leave you all just lying around rotting now, can we?"

"No, I guess not." the man said. He looked up at Fenton appraisingly. "You spent a lot of time rubbing me down."

"I have to remove rigor mortis to let the embalming fluid flow properly." Fenton said. "While it's being added and your blood is being drained, I'll have to rub your body some more, too, to make a proper job of it."

"Guess every job has some perks." the man observed.

Fenton shrugged. "It can be pretty grotty. You weren't so bad, though."

"Yeah, I was brought in freshly dead, wasn't I?"

"A car crash and obvious cause of death can do that. A rib broke on the steering wheel, and penetrated your heart. Rough, but not very messy, and the autopsy team took care of that for me." Fenton agreed.

"All you've had to do is take my clothes off me and shave me and then rub me all over." the man said. "I think that's what kind of, uh, woke me up, your hands on me."

"I was wondering about that myself." Fenton said. "You did seem to get a bit extra pliable while I was working on you. I figured you for an easy exsanguination and embalming."

"It was easy getting nice and soft with you working me over." the man said, smiled.

"My pleasure." Fenton smiled back. "You know, it's kind of nice having one of you to talk to. This job can be awfully quiet."

"You have to expect that, don't you?" the man said. "I have to admit, there's only one thing keeping me here." He gestured to his erection. "This. Long as it's pounding, I got to hang around." He cast an appraising eye at Fenton. "You don't know anyone who could maybe help me get rid of this, you know, without you just deflating it by draining all my blood out?"

"Well..." Fenton considered it. "I am supposed to get you ready for your eternal slumber."

"No way I'm sleeping with this boner keeping me awake." the man affirmed.

"So I suppose it's just a part of my job to take care of that for you."

"I was hoping you'd say that."

"So how are we going to do this?" Fenton asked. "You want to be on top?"

"Me?" the man said. "I'm dead, remember? I need you to do all the work on this one. But tell you what...I'll let you do me the next time we meet."

"Har, har!" Fenton pretend-laughed, sighed. Well, he'd asked for this. Can't expect a dead man to be up and bouncing around, can you? "Okay, then, I'll get on top."

He slipped off his slippers and then his drawstring pants. He wore both of these rather than street clothes for much the same reason a doctor did, he didn't want to track any outdoor dirt into this sanitary environment, and he didn't want to track in the other direction if the environment turned into something less than sanitary. He had a full shower to use after each funereal preparation for the same reason. So it was simple enough to get naked below the waist, far simpler than if he'd tried this at the local supermarket or something.

"All right." the man on the table approved. "Now, how you going to slick this sucker up?"

Fenton considered sucking, but decided that wasn't as attractive this time around as it would have been otherwise. "I got some lubricant." he said and reached for the Vaseline jar he kept; he found it useful on occasion. "This ought to work."

"Won't be as much fun." muttered the man.

Fenton cocked an eye at him. "You'd rather I just cut it off and stuck it up your ass?"

"No, no, you don't need to do that." the man said. "Vaseline will be fine."

"I should hope so." Fenton said. "I don't exactly do this with every corpse that comes along."

"I'm the first one you've talked to, huh?"

"Oh, no, not that." Fenton said. "First one who ever answered back, though." He scooped out a wad of the oily goop and proceeded to slather it expertly over the shaft. He'd oiled bodies before, for cosmetic reasons. One reason he had the Vaseline. But this time, he wasn't just trying to give the skin some softness and moisture, he was out to make it slippery enough to shove up his bum!

"I guess it has been lonesome here, huh?" the corpse agreed.

"It's not a job you take if you like meeting people." Fenton conceded. "Now let's take on this thing before I have to cut a hole in the coffin for it to let me shut the lid."

The man chuckled at that. "I'm counting on you."

Fenton felt the flesh of the glans as he pressed it against his anus. The body was at room temperature, necessary for him to manipulate it prior to exsanguination, and the feel of the cock wasn't disgusting, but not warm as it should be. Rather like pushing a piece of meat inside your butt.

Yet as he got it inside him, he felt to his surprise that the cock became warmer. Normal warm, even! "You're warming up?" he marveled. Autopsies were usually conclusive on that, if nothing else, they usually didn't bother reconnecting anything they cut apart to study, they just stuffed it back inside, and maybe kept some samples!

"Hey, you can't fuck someone if you're all the way dead." the man pointed out. "I got things going to let me finish this, but we don't want to dawdle, either!"

"True." Fenton agreed. He got into a squatting position and began to bounce his ass up and down . Mmm, that did the trick! Nothing like having a hard cock up your ass to make your life seem worthwhile! He threw his head back and crooned.

"Yeah, that's doing it for me." the man below him affirmed. Fenton looked down onto the stitched-shut chest and the pale skin and the eyes...yes, the eyes sparkled. That helped, the eyes.

And the smile. The two said that his unusual lover was enjoying this.

This wasn't turning out so bad after all. He could get into this. Fenton closed his eyes and concentrated on the pleasure of having a hard dong in his butt. Damn, it'd been a while. Too much time spent hanging around dead people. And when he met with the living, he found himself talking about his profession. A real wienie shrinker of a subject if ever there was one. Really, if this dead stud with a boner hadn't come along, how long would it have been until he managed to hook up with someone for sex? Probably not for a long time; he'd quit trying.

Well, he had a prong up his tuchus now; ride this sucker! Ride it hard and ride it long!

He got down onto one knee, that helped him steady himself better, and now he bounced harder, the dong was driving in and out of his butt, he was loving this cock, loving the man, loving the world, loving life! Not death...life! "Oh, oh, gah, uh, uh!"

"Yeah, come on, ride me, fellow, nice and hard, ooh, oh, uh, uuuh, yeah!" the man below him panted. The incisions move alarmingly apart as his lungs heaved.

Fenton marveled at how this inanimate body had reanimated this much, to join in one final mission, to feel one last time the tremendous joy that is orgasm! He could give it to this man, his final wish, and in the process, maybe gain that unique joy for himself! His face flushed, his body surged. He caught hold of his pud and he began to whomp himself. His prick hummed alive in a moment, it had already been hard and bouncing.

"Yeah, come on, man, I'm going to shoot, I'm going to shoot!" the man beneath him groaned. "Drain off this load for me, and I can go on my way. No haunting, I promise, just get me off, get me off, gah, uh, gah!"

"Oh, oh, guh, ah, ah, uh!" Fenton's cock was igniting, he had to stop moving for just a moment, only a moment, he stopped with the dead man's hard prick buried in him to the base and he pumped his cock and it shrieked its way to climax and he exploded, his come ejaculated over the man's face, he was spraying his jizz on this freshly-washed body, he'd have to clean it again, pray nobody realized he'd done this, oh, God, nobody would believe him if he told them the truth, he'd have to wash the man again! All this was yammering through his brain as his cock spurted, and then it was done, and with it the worrying, his body had climaxed and he was done and the feeling of satisfied lassitude stole over him.

"Uh, uh, uh!" The body was moving beneath him, fucking itself up at him, fully animated now, the body was fucking Fenton, hammering the pud up at him. Fenton lowered himself onto all fours carefully and then he was able to resume his work, the body quieted, but not the voice beneath him.

"Oh, God, I'm coming, I'm coming, got to blow, going to blow it now, uh, ugh, UGH-GUH-HUNNNN-GKKHHHHHHHHH!" And the hot jizz boiled up into Fenton's butt, vibrantly alive, he was being filled with the hot seed, and as he did, he watched the man's face, as it contorted, grimaced, teeth gritted, and done, sank down to calm pleasure and the eyes closed and a smile remained on the face, happy to be done.

Fenton got the now-limp dong out of his butt and climbed off. "Man, that was great!" he said.

Silence. Fenton looked and said, "Are you dead now, I mean, really and totally dead now?"

More silence. "I guess so." Fenton said. "Well, I got to wash you again. Then we'll start the exsanguination." Then he smiled. "But I'm leaving that grin on your face."

Most times, all you could do with a corpse is arrange a vacant, slack look. Smiles were possible, but looked unnatural. Not this one. Just like the guy was just sleeping.

And with this one, maybe he was!