Artwork (c) 2005 by Barton.
I settled into the chair just as the commercial was ending. The talk-show host was none other than Henry Hazzard, the one and only. He leaned forward and said into the microphone. "Hey, welcome back to ‘The Blow' and with me now is a young man who is making a few waves with the Los Angeles Panthers football team. His name is Tyler De Graaz, and he has recently come out of the closet and the question is whether he can continue to play with the team. I understand several members have said that unless De Graaz is let go, they won't play and the financially beleaguered Panthers are also concerned about their gate receipts, if a large number of fans stay away, they risk going under. So we are taking calls from football fans and anyone else who is listening, and Tyler here will answer your questions right after he answers a few of mine. First off, Tyler, do you mind if I call you the Pink Panther?"
I grinned. "You can call me anything you want to, Henry."
"So how do you feel about your teammates, who don't want you checking out their willies in the showers?"
"The showers are individual stalls, with a changing room attached to each." I pointed out. "Anybody who's uncomfortable being nude around me, or around any of the other players, can simply take their shorts or other clothing into the stall with them. Nobody struts around naked in the lockerroom unless they want to."
I smiled again, I knew Henry was rough on his guests, but I was determined to be pleasant here, damn it! "I'm a coward, Henry, I wear my briefs into and out of the showers. But some of the guys don't have that problem."
"So, do you check them out?"
"I'm only human, Henry. But I don't touch a guy unless he wants me to."
"How about in the scrimmage, Tyler, do you take an opportunity to cop a feel now and then?"
"If I did, all I'd grab hold of is the cup protector, Henry." I pointed out. "Between the shoulder pads, the padding on the legs and such, there isn't a whole lot of a guy left unguarded during a scrimmage."
"Still, you can't blame a guy for worrying about a little hidey-ho, can you?"
I got a little incensed. "The guys on the team all know I'm only there to play football, and be a part of the team. When I want my ‘hidey-ho,' I go outside the team to find it, just like they do."
"So, how does a gay football player find himself a guy?" Henry wanted to know.
I shrugged. "The same way you find yourself a girl, mostly." I said. "I don't go to the bathhouses, I don't go to public bathrooms and find a glory hole or nothing like that. I am trying to find someone to fall in love with."
"So what do you have to say to the fans out there, who don't want to see a gay man playing football?"
I sighed, audibly, so they could hear me through the microphone. "I want to ask them what their problem is. I'm not out there to have sex with my teammates, I'm out there to play football."
"And with that, we'll turn this over to our callers." Henry was looking at a computer screen, which I guess was linked to whoever screened the callers. "Our first caller is Jacob from Marina Del Rey, hello, Jacob."
"Hello, Henry." Jacob said and I tensed up. Jacob had a rather effeminate voice. Please, I begged as he went on, please don't make this tougher than it already is! "I just have two things to say. First thing is, you rock, dude! Woo-hoo!"
"Always a pleasure to hear that." Henry said, making a silent laugh. "What's your second things."
"I saw Tyler in a picture in the newspaper and I just want to say that he's just the cutest thing I've ever seen. Can I get his phone number?"
"How about it, Tyler, you want to give Jacob your telephone number?"
"Maybe some other time." I said. "But Jacob can call the Panthers' team manager's business office at (310) 555-8151 and they'll give me the message. And he can ask them to send him an autographed photo of me, too, there's just a small fee for postage and handling."
"You wouldn't be naked in that photo, now would you?" Henry wanted to know.
"Only if it's the best thing for the team, Henry." I said. I knew Henry, his banter would get more and more outrageous, the question was how far I would go with him. I'd been warned about the FCC rules on what I could and couldn't say, but also ways to "push the edge" of things, as well.
"I'm sure Jacob wants to know this, what are you packing inside your cup protector?"
"Enough to do the job, but not so much as to cause any problems." I said, laughing out loud. I didn't think it was that funny, frankly, but I was going to be fucking charming here if it killed me!
"I guess you'll have to wait for your photo on that one, Jacob." Henry commiserated. "Next caller is Eileen of Agoura Hills. How you doing, Eileen?"
"I'm fine, thank you, Henry." Eileen said. She sounded elderly, so I almost expected what I got. "I just think it's sick what people like Tyler De Graaz are doing to our young people. They're all disgusting and ought to be ashamed of themselves."
She would have continued but Henry cut her off. "Thank you, Eileen, well, Tyler, what do you have to say to this caller?"
"I'm sorry she feels that way, but I refuse to crawl under a rock and die just to make her happy." I said with what I hoped was a calm voice. "All I want to do is play football with the Panthers. Just one guy on a fine team and I want to make them all proud to have me one of their members." I was keeping one eye on the clock, I had another fifteen seconds until Henry had to announce a commercial break. I didn't want this woman to get in the last word. "I'm not out to march for gay pride or to change the world or even to change the opinion of Eileen, I just want to live my life the way I want to, and that includes playing football. If the Panthers don't want me anymore, I'll find another team that does. But I've had a lot of the team members tell me that they're fine with having me on the team, only three have voiced any objection at all. Isn't that what really counts?"
"And thank you Eileen, we're taking a short break now but will be back in a few minutes."
Henry said. "And we're clear." he said. "Three minutes."
"Thanks." I said.
"You handled yourself well there." he said. "Just keep doing it and you'll be fine."
"Thanks." I said. "I'm just wandering when you're going to start in on me." Henry had been polite...for Henry...so far. By the end of this twenty-minute segment, he'd be roasting me over the coals. All he'd done so far was probe me for weaknesses, I just hoped he hadn't found any yet!
"Don't worry." Henry said. "When I do, you'll know it."
He got into a conversation with one of the station personnel and I was left to gnaw my nails.
"And we're back in three, two, one..." Henry did his stint again and next was some guy named Jack that rambled on for a moment or so. I was baffled by the end of it and looked my question at Henry. He didn't help me.
"I didn't get the question." I said.
"I think he was asking you what kind of guy you like." Henry said.
"He didn't say anything of the sort that I remember."
"Well, it's what he should have asked." Henry said. "What kind of guy do you like?"
"That depends on the guy." I said. Henry was obviously winging it after an obscure phone caller. Some people can't talk straight. "If I like a guy, I find some way to let him know I'm interested, and then if he's interested, we take it from there. Isn't it the same way with you, Henry?"
"Is that why you have your hand on my crotch right now?" Henry asked me.
I wasn't doing any such thing, but this was Henry's style. I had to play along or come across as some kind of spoilsport, or whatever you call a guy who doesn't play along with a load of nonsense from a shock jock. "It's one of my favorite moves." I said. "You don't mind, do you?"
"Hey, I can handle a guy's hand on my crotch." Henry said. "Kind of flattering. So, while Tyler here plays with my basket, let's take our next caller. Okay, we have Lois of Rolling Hills, Lois, you any relation to the one who's in love with superman?"
"Now he's not really playing with you, is he, Henry?" Lois tittered.
"He certainly is." Henry said while winking at me. I had to laugh myself. Nobody took this show real seriously on one level. On another, it was deadly serious. I could be ridiculous, but I had to be likeable. "So what's your question, Lois?"
She tittered again. "I forget."
"Nice talking with you, Lois." Henry said. "And it's time for another break, this time to give all of you a bit of news and weather." And he flipped a switch. "Five minutes this time. You need a restroom break, Tyler?"
"I'm fine." I said. "Unless you want to go in there with me." I dimpled, grinned impishly.
Henry just laughed. "Hey, it's all a part of my shtick." he said. "How many times have I said that a woman is flashing her breasts or a guy is sniffing cocaine on my show?"
"Most of the times." I agreed. "So how far are you going to take this hand-on-crotch thing?"
"We'll have to see." Henry said. "How far are you willing to go?"
"As far as I have to." I said firmly. "This is my life we're talking about here."
"Maybe you should really put your hand on my dick, then." Henry said. "The more popular you are on my show, the better your chances of levering everyone over to your side. You know that." He was right, my manager had said the same thing; get the people on your side. That meant being a hit guest on this show.
"Maybe I should." I agreed. "If I could rattle you on the air, that would make people take notice, wouldn't it?"
Henry just laughed. "You wouldn't be the first to try." He bragged to me. "Though nobody's ever tried giving me a blow-job on the air before." And he laughed again, but his eye was on the clock. "And we're back in three...two...one.... Hello again, everyone, you've tuned in to ‘The Blow', I'm Henry Hazzard, and I'm here talking with Tyler De Graaz, the half-back of the Los Angeles Panthers, who has recently come out of the closet...."
He trailed off for a second for a damned good reason. I had reached over and had put my hand on his crotch. He looked at me and I gave him an evil grin.
Hell, he had come up with the idea. But it made all kinds of sense. If I could get his listeners to pay attention to me, simply pay attention, I'd be something more than that "gay guy on the Panthers" team.
After the pause, Henry continued, "....and those of you listening in on the first half know that he had just put his hand on my crotch. Well, it's still there."
I began to squeeze and work him. He was wearing a pair of gray sweats (he was a radio talk host, he could dress any way he wanted) and the material was loose and baggy and comfortable on him, no doubt. Lots of room inside for his cock to move around. And it was.
"Are you enjoying playing with me on the air, Tyler?"
"More fun than I've had in a long time, Henry." I agreed. "But you have to take it out if I'm going to do anything but play with it."
"What do the rest of you say about that?" Henry was in his "second-half" stage here, I should point out, he always let his fantasy run free in the second half, I'd been warned about that and told to play along. Well, I was, wasn't I? "Should I let Tyler show me his talents right here on the air? And we have a caller. It's Solly from Temecula, go ahead, Solly."
A raging drag queen without a doubt, Solly said, "Oh, honey, go ahead and take him. Take one for the home team, Tyler!"
"All right, I will." I said. "Just let me skin these jeans off of him. A lie, of course, he had those loose sweats on him, and they came off easy. "Hard to peel jeans off a guy and be gentle about it, you know."
"You're doing just fine, Tyler." Henry said. "You got a question for Tyler, Solly?"
"Just that I've seen you play and want you to know, it was a proud day for me when you came out, Tyler, honey. Don't let those bigots drag you down, you stay on the team and if they're going to let you go, make them fire you."
"I'll think about it." I said. I had hold of Henry's dong now, about eight inches of really thick pud. "I'll have to see how well I can handle it as I go along."
"Like you're handling me?" Henry asked.
"Something like that." I said, scooting down onto my knees. "I feel equal to the task, though. What do you think about that, Henry?" And I put my lips on his cock as I said that, my tongue dancing over his cockhead and lavishing saliva upon it. I wanted to make him talk while I used my every wile to drive him absolutely crazy. Let him be glib and cocky now!
"I think that you can do whatever you want." Henry said. Yes, there was a softness to his tone, a kind of huskiness slipping into it. "Let's take our next...uh, caller now."
I lifted off long enough to say, "Getting worked up, Henry?"
"You know it." Henry said, with only my hand on his now-sticky dick, he had control of his voice again. "We're talking with Marge from Costa Mesa now, go ahead Marge."
I went to working on Henry's pud while Marge went on for a while. She was mostly positive, but didn't really ask a question as much as she just sort of spoke out in support of gay athletes in professional sports. "And I don't think they should fire you for that, Tyler." she concluded. "I think you should be judged only on your actions."
Meanwhile, I had my head bobbing up and down fast as I could on Henry's pud. "Yeah." Henry said, and now there was a definite gutteral tone to him. "Your actions are pretty incredible."
I lifted off again just long enough to say, "Do you mean on the playing field, or here between your legs?"
"Anywhere you want to be." Henry said. "Next caller....uh, guh! Next caller is Fred from Hollywood, go ahead, Fred."
"Man, is Tyler De Graaz really sucking your dick?" he asked. I knew that there was a three second delay and that Fred's words would be "bleeped" by the station manager.
"He certainly is." Henry said. "Have I ever lied to any of you? And I'll tell all you guys, he is doing it better than any woman ever thought of doing it."
"Well...that makes sense." Fred said. "I mean, a guy knows the right way to suck your dick where a girl doesn't." I knew the station manager would be having a conniption fit..or would if Henry's show wasn't the hottest thing on the air already.
Meanwhile, I was giving Henry's cock my best treatment. There was a sort of public excitement about it, about sucking this shock jock's cock while he tried to keep up his patter. He was doing a pretty good job despite me polishing his knob for him while he talked.
"Ah, yeah, you have a good point there, Fred. Yeah, I could really get used to this. I should have gay men on my show more often!"
I let go and this time let my lips make an audible popping sound as the moist lips parted from the equally moist glans. "I'd enjoy doing this some more."
"Do some more now." Henry said. "One more caller, and then we'll have to take another station break. This time it's Charley from Pacoima, go ahead, Charley, what do you think about me having a football player giving me a hummer while on the air."
"Anything that makes you happy, Henry." Charley said.
"Ahh, he's making me major happy." Henry groaned. Yeah, groaned. I was getting to this guy, in more ways than one. "What's your question for Tyler?"
"I was just wondering if Tyler knew about the Gay Pride March coming up, and if he would be in it?"
I let go of Henry's prong again, and he moaned as I did, his cock was getting pretty darned hot, and said, "That's a good question." I agreed. "I didn't think about that when I came out, I just wanted to stop pretending to be something I'm not. I haven't been asked by the committee, but they haven't had time to ask me yet. We'll see what happens."
"Now get back to it, you horny stud." Henry growled. "Folks, I'm getting the best darned shaft straining I ever got right now, and I can't last much longer, so we're going to break and I'll finish up with Tyler. This is Henry Hazzard, and I'll be back in a minute, just as soon as I blow my marbles here with Tyler De Graaz. Ah, yeah!"
He flipped a switch and panted, "Okay, three minutes." And his hands grabbed my head and he moaned, "Come on, you big bastard, get me off, shit, yeah, get me off!"
I grabbed him by his balls and I squeezed them, not hard, but enough to give this guy a sensation he'd never had before. It worked, too, he howled and he blasted his load right then and there. I got a mouthful of hot jizz and I gulped it down fast as he could pump it out. He was moaning in a way he hadn't dared before, he had to pretend that it was all pretend, if you see what I mean, now he could and did give full vent to his pleasure and he howled as his jizz squirted into my mouth and I swallowed and swallowed and finally had him down to a few sort of whimpering sounds while I siphoned off the last remnants out of his dong.
"Ah, man, ah, man, ah, man." Henry was moaning. "That was the best damned blow job I've ever had!" He gasped out. "Ah, shit, man, you are one hot horndog, aren't you?"
"I just wanted to give you something to talk about." I grinned as I let go of him. I looked at his clock, it always ran down the time until he went back on the air, and it said what I said to him. "Ten seconds to air, Henry, are you going to be able to talk?"
"Hah! Hah! Hah!" he gasped out.
"I figured that." I said and I watched as the timer went to zero and flashed "On Air" again and I said, "This is Tyler De Graaz and I'm here with Henry Hazzard on his show, ‘The Blow' and Henry is out of it for a couple of minutes. While he catches his breath, let's take our next caller, I'm not in position to read the monitor but go ahead, and tell me your name and city."
"Yeah, uh, I'm Raymond and I'm in Westwood, I just tuned in. Did you really just give the guy a humjob on the air or what?"
I grinned. "You must be new to the show, or you'd know that Henry is always making up outrageous things to get people listening. Would I really do anything like that?"
"So why are you talking instead of him after the station break?"
"I'm right here." Henry said. He was still a bit out of breath, it looked like, but his voice was mostly back to normal. "What's your question, Raymond."
"Well, that was it, I mean, I know you're a shock jock, but Jesus, getting blown on the air, man, that would just be too much. Couldn't you get kicked off the air?"
"He might." I cut in. "But you know, this is sort of what's facing me right now. The real question before us is, should what I do in private be any reason to take me off the team? I make people uncomfortable just by being who I am, and Henry makes people uncomfortable by his outrageous talk. But really, who I sleep with doesn't affect how I play football, and that ought to be the sole factor in the decision to keep me or let me go. It's what I'm hoping to do here tonight, I need people like you calling the Panthers and telling them not to judge me by my personal life. I'm a professional on the gridiron and that's all that ought to matter to anybody."
"Yeah." Raymond agreed. "I hope they don't fire you, Tyler."
"If they do, you can always come back and help me host this show." Henry said.
I just grinned. "I might take you up on that if they do kick me off the team." I said. "I could keep your listeners up on what's happening in the field of sports, maybe."
Henry smirked and I knew we were almost out of time. "Yeah, Tyler, you'd be great at giving everyone a blow-by-blow play."
And while I groaned, he said, "And that's our show for tonight. This is Henry Hazzard and you've been listening to the ‘The Blow' with my guest tonight Tyler De Graaz of the Los Angeles Panthers. Thank you for listening and good-night everybody!"
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