Starting Over

By Tommyhawk1@AOL.COM
Artwork (c) 2005 by Vitaly


"How late will you be getting home tonight, Daddy?" Marlene asked me as I tucked her into bed.

"I'm not sure." I told her. "Probably not too late. But you go on to sleep now and I'll be here when you wake up, I promise."

"All right." Marlene wrapped an arm around the neck of her teddy bear and snuggled down into her pink lacy pillow with eyes firmly closed. I wished I could go to sleep that easily. Sleep hadn't come easy to me ever since the divorce some four months ago. I was having to start my life all over again!

Oh, the divorce itself hadn't been nasty. Denise had been willing to accept a small alimony, sensible child support payments, and to share our household items, bank accounts and custody of Marlene on a reasonable basis. She had gotten Marlene for Christmas this year, I'd had her for Thanksgiving and now for New Year's Day. Next year we'd trade off, and I'd been welcome at her house for the Christmas celebration, though that had been a bit awkward. No, Denise hadn't been bad at all with the divorce...unless you count the fact that she hadn't been willing to make any effort to save our marriage, we'd grown apart and it was so long Joe!

So now I was back in the dating game. Which was what I was doing tonight, Friday night before New Year's, I was out to learn how to pick up women all over again.

I sighed, remembering that as I checked my appearance in the mirror. At the age of thirty-seven, I was too damned old to be in the dating game. Women my age fell into three basic categories, already married, badly damaged from prior marriages, and just too weird to marry. That left me dating women younger than me, and that was a whole different set of problems. Still not ready to settle down, ready to settle down but wanting children of their own, wanting a sugar Daddy to spend-spend-spend on them...oh, never mind!

Well, I looked like me. A big, strong guy, I'd always kept myself in shape, but time and gravity were beginning to take their toll. It had turned my face from cute-handsome to rugged-handsome. My tits were beginning to sag unless I kept my shoulders pulled back. My hair had lost its luster and if I looked carefully, I could find some gray hairs in there...Ah, to hell with it!

A horn was honking, it was Martin, calling to pick me up. He was my "wing man" these days, someone to talk with while looking over the girls, and to help me out in getting them interested in me.

"So where are we going tonight?" I asked.

"It's Friday night, I figured Jet-Go's." Martin started.

"Oh, God, no, not that!" It was a discotheque, and I was too damned old to gyrate around on the dance floor and shout to be heard over the music.

"But it's where all the hot girls hang out on Friday nights!"

Suddenly, I couldn't take it. "I don't want to hang out with girls tonight!" I declared. "Just take us to a nice, quiet bar where I can get a drink, maybe play a game of pool or darts, and just hang out with other men!"

I pissed Martin off, I could tell. "Mind if I cut you loose there and go on to Jet-Go's?" he said.

"Fine with me." I shrugged. "I can get a cab to come home."

"So that's a plan. I'll take you to Romano's." Martin peeled out so fast, he left rubber on the pavement. Okay, I'd angered him, I'd apologize and treat him on the next date, if I had to. I was getting a bit past the "wing man" stage anyhow, time for me to break off on my own on these dates, I'd learned most of the places to go by now, anyway. I'd never been to this place, but I'd want some place to kick back and just be a guy from time to time.

Romano's was just a notch in a row of small businesses along this block. A couple of guys standing outside smiled at me as I walked in, and I smiled back. A friendly place, great.

Inside it was just what I needed! A couple of pool tables were seeing action, and a dart board beyond. There were tables around both pool tables with guys sitting watching the action or talking to each other, the bar had a few more guys sitting and chatting, the bartender was a clean-cut young guy. And no women anywhere!

I walked over and put my four quarters down on a pool table, it had two more piles there already. A game was a dollar, I guess I'd play the winner of the previous games. Went over and ordered a draft Budweiser and went to an empty table and sat down and splayed myself out, welcoming visitors.

"Hello." a blond-haired guy, younger than me but not that young, came over with a can of Coors in hand. "You playing pool?"

"Yep." I agreed.

"Who you playing against?"

"I figured I'd play the winner."

"That's Bob and Gregory, they won't want to split up on their games." he explained. "But I'll play you."

"Fine." I agreed, stuck out a hand. "I'm Joe."

He took my hand with his and gave a strong, manly shake. His hand was rough from hard work. "I'm Carl."

Carl was easy to talk to. He was twenty-nine, working rebuilding old houses he'd bought cheap, fixing them up to sell at a profit (a game I'd been thinking of getting in on if I could scratch together enough money to buy the house and stuff to fix it up with...okay, I couldn't afford it!), and regaled me with story after story of his trials and triumphs in the business. When you work in construction, there's a fellowship that outweighs many other differences.

Our turn came up and I played a better game than him, though he gave me a challenge. After that, we made our way to the darts board with fresh mugs and took our place in queue there. There were more players waiting, but the games were quicker, we wouldn't have to wait for long....

Standing by me, me perched on a backless bar stool, Carl's hand went around my waist and I turned, smiled up at him. He smiled back and leaned down. I didn't realize what he was doing until he was doing it. I got kissed and jerked away from him, startled. "What the hell?"

"What's wrong?" Carl asked me, puzzled.

"Why'd you kiss me?" I said, wiping my mouth.

"I'm sorry," he said, "but we were getting along so well, I didn't think you'd mind."

I started to answer that with a long explanation and cut off when I saw what two guys across the way from the darts game were doing. Looked around more. I'd been in Romano's for almost a damned hour, and only now was I realizing it was a gay bar!

"Oh, shit!" I said. "Martin, I am going to beat the shit out of you in the morning!"

"You're not gay?" Carl asked.

"No!" I said. "I'm a married...I was a married man, I got divorced, but no, I'm not gay!"

"Oh." Carl looked...annoyed. Then recovered, his face cleared. "Well, it's no problem. We don't lock out straight men in this bar."

"Or rape them in the bathroom." another man chipped in. The others, listening, laughed.

"I guess I should be going." I said, standing up.

"Why?" Carl asked me. "Our turn just came up at the dart board!"

I looked, he was right, it was why our exchange had been noticed. Looked at Carl. Hell, he was the closest thing to a real friend I'd found in years! Looked around, everyone was smiling, friendly...accepting. I broke out in laughter and said, "All right, let's play! I bet I'll beat your ass but good."

"Promises, promises!" Carl responded, and we all laughed. It was a close game, real close...but I won.

A hell of a fun night developed. We all laughed and joked, me and Carl and the other guys. Hell, best time I'd had a bar in I don't know when, and nobody put a move on me at all. I learned some new jokes, and some better punchlines for a couple of old jokes, and before I knew it, it was pushing midnight.

"Oh, hell, I'd better get home." I said. "I got a nine-year-old girl to say good morning to in another seven or eight hours. I'd better call me a cab."

"It's okay." Carl rose. "I'll give you a ride. My truck's outside."

I wondered if his truck would be painted pink or purple or have flowers on it. But it was a typical builder's truck, white, battered, with racks on the sides, one for holding ladders and the other for carrying large windowpanes or sheets of wood paneling. He got out of the truck and walked up the two flights with me to my front door. Somehow, that felt just right.

I stopped at the front door with my key out and turned to him. "Thanks, Carl. I had a hell of a good time tonight."

"Me, too." Carl said and his eyes were...hungry. He wasn't saying a word, not a thing, just standing there...but his eyes said plenty.

"What's this?" I asked him. "Don't I get a kiss goodnight?"

The smile on Carl's face grew like the sunrise. "I thought you'd never ask."

His arms around me felt so very right, so warm, so strong. His lips were soft and accepting and felt masculine and aggressive on mine. It wasn't like kissing a woman, not even close...but in its own way, it was even better! A woman kisses you, it's like she's telling you she belongs to you. Kissing Carl said that we were equals, strong men, together, partners against the world.

When Carl's kiss stopped and he let go, I pulled him back to me to kiss him again. We both fell against my door with a bit of a bang and I realized the babysitter was in there! "We got to play cool!" I gasped to Carl. Pushed him away just in time.

My door opened and Mrs. Spielman opened the door. "Mr. Westerman, you're home!"

"Yes, just got back." I said. "Is Marlene all right?"

"Sound asleep as always, the little angel." Mrs. Spielman moved quickly. "I've got to get back to my own home now, my husband won't go to sleep until I'm in there next to him. Talk to you tomorrow!"

And that fast, she was off down the hall to her own apartment.

And Carl and I were inside and I reached to grab him again. I felt as giddy as I had the first time I'd ever had sex, back when I was sixteen. Only this wasn't some simple-minded pretty girl, this was a big, studly man and I was free, free, free!

We kissed in a frantic sort of waltz through my living room and into my bedroom. Falling on the bed, while tearing at each other's clothes. Carl's body was hot and musky-smelling, clean, but very, very male! It was a strangely erotic feeling, touching muscles the equal of my own on my lovers, not the female frail, thin arm, where they avoid muscles at all costs and bleach every blemish, pluck every hair and drown every odor in scented soap and perfumes. It was a joy to tug off his workboots, strip off his socks, wrench down his pants to reveal hairy, powerful legs.

"You know, for a straight guy, you're pretty good at this." Carl panted.

"Yeah, but I'm running out of stuff I know how to do here." I said. "You're going to have to show me how to do this."

"No problem at all." Carl panted. "You just do it the way you'd like it done to you. You know how you like your cock sucked, right? Just do it like that."

"All right."I gulped and reached for his briefs, his sole remaining piece of clothing. I wore only one sock myself, with me peeling his Jockey's off and over his feet, we became two naked, hairy men together, and I moved into a sixty-nine position with a gulp. I'd been carried by a combination of passion, curiosity and experimentation up to this point, now it was time to get to the gritty work of man/man sex...and was I able?

Carl's lips sank over my cock and I groaned. Again I was struck by the difference of this sex, from that of my ex-wife and the other women I had bedded. A woman sucks a man's cock and for her it's all theoretical. However talented she may be, it's all learned, and all the talent pours from her brain. You feel that, somehow, underneath everything, that she has no real understanding of what she's doing for you, beyond the fact that you're groaning and telling her she's wonderful, even when she's only better than your hand down there.

But Carl was working me with the experience that comes from personal possession, he had a cock of his own and knew down deep just what felt right and what felt less than perfect. His lips worked in a way that told me he knew every nerve ending in my cock and could play it like a violin virtuoso, and I shuddered with the joy and my eyes focused on his dong in front of me and I dove onto it without hesitation.

I knew what to do. Why had I thought for one moment I hadn't? I knew the flesh was tender under the covering skin, that I must meet it only with my soft lips and tongue, keeping my teeth well away from that. I could let my teeth touch the skin of the shaft, so long as I didn't bear down. Don't scrape...touch. My lips gripped the cockskin and forced it to ripple upwards over the flare of the glans, and I rose upwards until my own lips pressed over the skin at the flare, and only then sank back toward the base, the thick shaft filling my mouth to fullness and beyond. I tasted the heady rush of precome his cockslit was exuding and suddenly I wanted more of it, more, I wanted to drink down his entire fucking comeload! That made me speed up, my actions wrung pleasure from Carl's body and he was groaning as much as me in no time.

"Oh, God, stop, Joe, stop!" Carl gasped after at time. "I don't want to come yet!"

No? "Why not?" I asked, panting hard myself. Shit, I was close to coming, I was just trying to make him join me!

"I want you to fuck me." Carl breathed.

"Fuck you?"

"Yeah, man, fuck me." Carl rolled over onto his stomach and I understood.

"You sure you can handle this?"

"Yeah, man, got some lube?"

"Yeah, in the nightstand." I said. I fished it out. "How much you want on me."

"You'd better put on plenty, you've got a huge whonger there."

"I know." I agreed, squirting a liberal portion onto my palm. "It's why I keep the stuff."

"I like 'em big, don't worry." Carl assured me. "But you've got to get practice to fuck another man right."

"So much for knowing it for myself." I told him.

"You only find out when you get fucked yourself." Carl explained. "Then you'll know better."

"Touche." I agreed. I'd smeared the lube all over my dong and so I scooted over to get between Carl's legs. His butt was as hairy as his legs, and the sight of those furry orbs was exciting to me all over again, my cock had softened some but now it was rock hard and eager.

I pushed into Carl in easy stages, but he just moaned and squirmed and his bowels accommodated me each time. Soon I was able to begin to thrust in and out of him and his body was warm underneath mine. I felt the power in his back, in his hips, in his arms, as I embraced him from behind, it was like fucking a tiger! I was hotter than I'd been in bed with a partner in some time and if Carl had objected right now, I don't think I would have listened. But Carl was getting into it, he was just grunting and urging me to move faster, harder, come on, ram him, yeah, that was the way, come on, give it to him!

My climax roared into my brain and I groaned and hammered at his butt, and Carl groaned himself, moaned he was coming, he was coming, and I groaned again and blasted my wad into him and Carl let out a long, low moan and ejaculated his load into my sheets.

I slumped down and groaned as my orgasm released me, and our sweat mingled as my jizz leaked out around my softening dong, then a rush as my flaccid pud fell out of his ass. I moaned and shifted over to lay beside him on the bed and he moved over to take me in his arms again.

"Oh, man, that was so hot!" I groaned. "So fucking hot."

"Yeah, it was." Carl agreed. "So what do you think about sex with another man?"

"It was just what I was needing." I admitted.

He snuggled with me a while, then he said, "Well, I'd better go."

"Go?" I was disorganized.

"Yeah." He said, getting up. "You don't want to explain me to your daughter in the morning, do you?"

"Oh. Right." I agreed. "Well, she's going back to her mother's on Monday night and I won't have her again until mid-January." Every other weekend during school sessions, and half the summer, that was my custody.

"That's nice." Carl agreed.

"Can I get your phone number?" I asked. "I'll call you Tuesday. Because I want to see you again."

Carl smiled and gave it to me, we kissed, and he left. I put on my bathrobe and slipped into my daughter's room. Marlene was still sleeping soundly, like always, the sleep of the innocent. She looked like a sleeping angel.

For now, I had to think of her first. Maybe that was why my relationships with women had been so bad lately. Maybe I had to turn to men, like Carl, for a while, because women threatened my life with Marlene. Or maybe I was gay after all. How could I know? How could I make a decision, find an answer, with my life the way all churned up like it was? I was in no position to be starting over right now!

But Marlene came first. Definitely. That'd do for an answer right now. I'd work with that a while and see how things turned out.

I gently kissed my daughter's cheek and slipped out as quietly as I'd come.

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